Hold On

“God is there for you to hold on.  Hold on to what is good, even if it’s a handful of earth.  Hold on to what you believe, even if it’s a tree that stands by itself.  Hold on to what you must do, even if it’s a long way from here.  Hold on to your faith, even if it’s easier to let go.  Hold on to God’s hand.”

As I write this entry, I’m expecting various reactions and opinions.  Probably a lot… if not all, who’s gonna read this will raise their eyebrows.  But I would still dare write what I believe is right without any intentions of condemning anyone, with high hopes that it will somehow serve as an inspiration. 

Everytime I visit an OB-Gyne, I am always asked of these questions:  (1) Are you sexually active? (2) Did you have sexual intercourse before? (this is of course with a follow up question, “ever?”) (3) How old are you? (4) Do you have a boyfriend? or did you have a boyfriend? I find it funny that they all got amazed when I answered the first two questions with  “NO” and the follow up question in (2) with a “YES”.  And when I answered the last two questions, they got shocked and almost couldn’t believe with my answers, some wouldn’t even want to believe (I guess, as I can see from their facial expression)… and some wouldn’t want to show their disbelief, for ethical reasons.  But there’s this one who, with a deep conviction said: “That’s right, you only have to give yourself to none other than your husband.  I’ve been into medical practice for years now, and I can say that you’re one of those few, hija.”  After hearing those words coming from her, I didn’t feel proud…I felt blessed and honored instead.  And with a humble heart I replied, “thank you po…”

I love, honor and respect God so much that I don’t want to fail Him.  He has done a lot of marvelous things to me  and I know He wouldn’t be happy seeing me enganging in a sexual activity outside of marriage.  I carry with me the values that were instilled in me by my parents, grandparents and aunt since I was a child because I love them and I respect them as much as I respect myself.  Though virginity might not really be a big issue for many of us, I still believe that it’s the best gift that we could ever give to our partner on our wedding day.  I still dream of walking down the aisle and make my vow in front of God and our loved ones whole and pure.  It’s really hard to stand firm and live by these values, especially when the world see them otherwise.  There will be a lot of consequences.  But I trust that God will never leave me in this battle for I, as human couldn’t do it without  His guidance.  I know this is what God wants…this is where He wanted me to be and I put my trust in Him.  He wants nothing but the best for me…for all of us.  We just have to acknowledge  and let Him in into our hearts and mind. 

Again, I have nothing against anyone.  We all have a choice and with every choice that we made is a corresponding responsibility.   I pray for every woman like me that they may  have the strength to hold on, and for those who chose the other way, that they may be whole again through God’s loving grace and mercy.  God loves us unconditionally and whatever shortcoming or imperfections we may have,  He will never turn His back on us.  This is me, this is how I am, this is what I want and this is what I chose.  I’m holding on…and I trust that God will not to let go of me.#CAL